x

I never thought that I could write something like this down. Because I am not the kind of girl I should be at my age. While all of my friends go clubbing and drinking, I prefer staying at home with no care to myself. I am not a fashion girl and I don't look at guys and think "oh my god he is so hot!". No, I take everything how it is. I dont think about our world or what I could have done different and what would be now. I am a smoker and I like smoking, there are no thoughts about how bad it is for me. I don't fight for someone who made me sad one time and I take me out of trouble every time. Well I could say that I don't really live. I exist, but not living, and it is ok for me. And I neither got any passion for sport or art, I like being. just being.. like staying at home or staying in my room for a whole weekend. It doesn't make me sad, it fills me with feelings. And this time is everything for me. but I always ask myself; what goals do I got in my life?

3

I am sad. I had this friend who teached me a lot. He helped me to talk about my problems and myself and he called me every night, he hugged me whenever I needed it. He meant a lot to me and now he's gone. He doesn't call me anymore and never writes me, but I needed him. I still need him now but he forgot me. what did I ever mean to him? Was I just a little lost girl? He's gone like he came into my life - in about one single day. He talks to me like he hasn't got time because he has to study to be one day a good teacher. I understand this, but a message doesn't need that much time to write. I am sad because of losing a friend. I hope I see you again-

Ivona

Ivona - you were here for me whenever I was in trouble and you made me laugh again. I love being with you, no matter if we talk or not. And I swear I want you to be the first people I'll tell that I am gonna marry, you should be my witness and the godmother of my first child. We went through hard and great times and I never want to stop this, because you give me power. You are my best friend. Doesn't matter if we don't see each other for a week or two because I know you always come back. I love you, pet.

-

My life went crazy the last few weeks. One of my best friends went to New Zealand for 6 months. I broke up with my boyfriend because of stupid things. I really loved him and did everything for him. But we fighted together every day and I couldn't talk to him because he ran out of the room and was away for about 30 minutes. He hurted me hard with this and he said things to me that no girl would love to hear. I fell into hard depressions and wanted to go away forever. Someone hurted me so hard that I don't like going to public anymore. I didn't see my best friend for a really long time and I cried a lot and felt empty.
And I met my best friend again. She's the best girl I've ever known and I want to stay with her forever. I don't know if she knows that I see her as my best friend and it wouldn't be bad if she doesn't feel the same. She makes my life easier when it goes hard and she's always here for me. And I am always here for her.